You’re at the top, but are you still yourself?
You “made it. The title, the responsibilities and the influence. You sit at the table where decisions are made. But somewhere along the way, you lost something.
You notice it when you laugh again at jokes that don’t suit you. When you ignore your intuition because “it’s not convenient right now. Or when you catch yourself running on autopilot again.
And you wonder: Can I be successful without adapting?
The answer is: yes. Indeed, authentic female leadership is exactly what the world needs.
Because leadership is not about the role you fill; it’s about the place from which you embody that role.
Why this is such an urgent issue right now
As a female leader, you navigate a world designed by (and for) men. You perform at top levels, but often within structures that do not recognize your strengths.
Did you know that nearly half of female leaders feel less taken seriously than her male colleagues? And that 40% were once labeled “emotional” or “too direct”?
No wonder so many women start doubting. Start overcompensating. And end up losing connection with themselves.
But leadership does not have to be a role you play. Instead, it can be a powerful expression of who you really are.
And that starts with finding the parts of yourself that you have hidden away along the way to survive in a masculine system.
What is authentic female leadership?
Leadership that is true to who you are. From your truth, not someone else’s standard.
- You lead from connection, not control
- You rely on your intuition as a compass
- You ask questions instead of adjusting
- You exert influence without the need for proof
As I often say:
“Leadership starts with you. When you trust yourself, the world naturally follows.”
Authentic female leadership also means taking your inner voice seriously, even if that voice does not align with what the boardroom is now accustomed to. In the interview with JAN Magazine, I talk more about staying authentic at the highest level.
Why so many top women lose themselves
I hear it in almost every coaching conversation: “To be taken seriously, I got tougher. More rational. As if my feelings had no place.”
Many women unknowingly become “one of the guys.” They control the game, but lose their own voice. And that makes them dead tired. It exhausts them.
In my coaching program, women learn to remember who they are again. Getting closer to themselves to take leadership from that foundation.
It’s often not even a conscious decision to adapt; it’s a survival strategy you learned early on. From the first board meeting to the whispered voice of your inner critic, “Act normal. Don’t be too emotional. Don’t stand out.’
Strength and vulnerability? Yes please.
The idea that you have to choose (between strong or soft) is outdated. Jacinda Ardern, former prime minister of New Zealand, said it beautifully:
“I totally rebel against that. I refuse to believe that you cannot be both compassionate and strong.”
Female leadership is not weaker. It is more human. And that is exactly what makes it powerful.
Real courage is showing yourself, exactly as you are. Not in spite of your doubts, but with your doubts.
The forgotten power of sisterhood
An important key in finding your authentic leadership again is sisterhood.
In a sisterhood, you feel supported. Recognized and seen.
You don’t have to prove anything; you are simply allowed to be who you are.
“When I was back in a circle with women, I felt for the first time in years: this is who I am. Here I don’t have to fake anything.” – Carla
Discovering together with other women who you are without role, without mask, without need, that is the bed that so many women leaders lack at the top.
5 frequently asked questions about authentic female leadership
Yes. And not only that: it is even necessary that you do so. Because your presence at the top is only truly transformative if you appear there as you really are. That takes courage, because the system in which you work often requires you to adapt. But authentic leadership begins where you decide to stop living up to expectations you don’t subscribe to from within.
When you take your own standards and values as your guide instead of your environment, you will find that your impact increases. Not because you are different, but because of it. When you stay true to who you are at the deepest level, you become not only more powerful as a leader, but also more credible, more human and perhaps most importantly, more free.
This is a question that often stems from a deep-seated belief: that empathy is taken less seriously than decisiveness. But know this: the opposite is true. Humanity is not a risk; it is your greatest asset.
Softness does not mean losing yourself; it means choosing to be real in your relationships, to have space in your communications, and to trust rather than control. And yes, that may require a different energy than you’re used to in the boardroom. But it’s exactly that energy that creates safety, deepens connection and strengthens your team’s trust.
You often don’t know this all at once, but you feel it in the little signs. You feel it when you are tired for no reason. When you keep going over your limits even when no one is asking you to. When you hear yourself talking and think, why am I saying this now?
Losing yourself at the top often happens gradually. You adapt a little more and more. You swallow your words. You laugh along. And before you know it, you’ve forgotten who you were before you became “function
No. Authentic female leadership is not linked to a position, but is related to your inner attitude. Yet it is often most urgent at the top, because your leadership there affects not only your team or department, but the entire organizational culture.
Your way of leading is a mirror for others. And it is precisely at that level that many women lead by example, often without being aware of it. When you allow yourself to lead from individuality rather than adaptation, you create space for others to do the same.
More than you might imagine right now. It brings not only peace in your mind and space in your body, but also clarity in your choices. You no longer have to overthink or overcompensate for everything, because you know what’s right.
You feel firmer precisely because you are no longer fighting against yourself. Your team notices it too: your clarity invites confidence, your honesty inspires courage. And you? You start to feel again why you once said “yes” to leadership.
You don’t have to do it alone
I guide women leaders from organizations such as ABN Amro, Shell and UWV back to their core.
With my unique methodology, Journey to Wholeness®, you learn:
- Showing leadership from your intuition
- Combining strength and vulnerability
- Being visible without losing yourself
Ready to strengthen your authentic leadership?
You don’t have to work even harder to make an impact. You just need to become more yourself.
Once you dare to trust your own voice again, you bring something into the world that can no longer be ignored: your unique, feminine power.
📅 Sc hedule an introduction with me and discover what it does to you to finally come home to yourself.
