{"id":16194,"date":"2026-03-11T14:41:29","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T13:41:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/carlaclarissa.com\/standing-firm-in-who-i-am\/"},"modified":"2026-06-02T09:32:18","modified_gmt":"2026-06-02T07:32:18","slug":"standing-firm-in-who-i-am","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/carlaclarissa.com\/en\/standing-firm-in-who-i-am\/","title":{"rendered":"Standing firm in who I am"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

When I was working as a manager for almost three years, the organizational structure changed. There were new roles, new opportunities, and I wondered what role I really saw for myself. I applied for a higher management position. Full of ambition, but at the same time I was still full of doubt. <\/p>\n\n

During the job interview, I noticed; this interview was not going well. I didn’t come out the way I had hoped. Not because I couldn’t do it, but because deep down I didn’t believe I was cut out for it. I made myself smaller than necessary, and I don’t just mean during this interview. Everywhere I went I adapted to the expectations and needs of others. The fear of failure, of disappointment or rejection was deeper than I wanted to admit. My modesty and self-doubt stood in the way of my growth. And after this disappointing job interview, the point had been reached for me. I longed to stand firmer in my leadership, to live out my values and express my vision clearly, without apologizing for it. <\/p>\n\n

Previous coaching had focused mainly on behavior. Practical, useful too, but it didn’t touch the core. This time I felt: I really need to work on myself. Not learning another trick, but understanding who I am and why I do what I do. Where at first I thought I needed a therapist, my supervisor pointed me to The Women’s Leadership Program<\/a>. She recognized my patterns, had attended this leadership program herself and knew what the impact of this program could be. Thanks to her, I was given the opportunity to walk this path as well. <\/p>\n\n

What I discovered there touched me more deeply than I expected.<\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n

I found out that I didn’t actually know very well who I was myself. That may sound strange for a grown woman in a leadership position, but it was the truth. I had lived by the needs and expectations of others for so long that I had lost myself. The frustration and powerlessness I felt stemmed from constantly playing a role. I was not authentic. I was figuring myself out. <\/p>\n\n

The trajectory brought me closer to myself. <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n

Layer by layer I was allowed to peel off what was not mine. I gained insight into my beliefs, my fear of rejection, my drive to do right by everyone but myself. My greatest insight? That I have something to offer. I now feel that I am of value. Not because I perform something or meet someone else’s expectations, but simply because I am who I am. <\/p>\n\n

That realization, especially that feeling, changed everything.<\/p>\n\n

At the end of the journey, paradoxically, I was not doing well. I was emotional, feeling dark and heavy. I slept badly, was in a negative spiral and was balking. I thought I hadn’t gotten the most out of the program. Until I realized that that very moment was my turning point. The moment when everything in me screamed, “We’re not doing it that way anymore!” <\/p>\n\n

A situation at work sucked me dry completely. <\/h2>\n\n

Instead of moving on and adjusting, I put it on the table “this is not how I am going to continue. I stated my boundary. In complete vulnerability. Without mask. Without a role. That was exciting, but it brought a huge positive turnaround. Not only did the situation itself improve, I felt for the first time how firmly I stood. Everything I had worked on during the process came together here. <\/p>\n\n

Since then, I have naturally relied more on my own insights and my feelings. <\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n

I am allowed to be there. I embrace my vulnerability instead of hiding it. And that is exactly what makes for more connection with others, something I always wanted as a leader. For me, authentic leadership now means that my strength and my vulnerability are allowed to coexist. <\/p>\n\n

I am less afraid of making mistakes. I know and accept that I am not perfect. That I am doing it with the best of intentions. And that I am allowed to learn. That mildness toward myself brings peace. I fret less, doubt less, overthink less. The constant inner critic has softened. That gives space. In my work, in my head and in my heart. <\/p>\n\n

As a manager, I find that I am on a firmer footing. <\/h2>\n\n

My values are clearer. I express my vision without diminishing myself. Colleagues experience more openness and connection. I no longer feel consumed by expectations or masculine leadership norms. My feminine power, which for me stands for intuitive, connecting and clear, is allowed to be there. <\/p>\n\n

Looking back, I am incredibly grateful that I embarked on this journey. Although I doubted beforehand whether I would really be able to break my lifelong patterns, I went into it with full commitment. Carla let me go through my own process, at my own pace. She sensed exactly what I needed. Everything was allowed to be there. Nothing was wrong. Even when I thought I was standing still, she helped me see that there was movement there. <\/p>\n\n

Perhaps what surprised me most was that the change did not come from harsh confrontation or quick fixes. It happened because I took myself seriously. Because there was a safe bed in which I could explore, feel and grow. Because of the design of the program, things in me changed naturally. <\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n

And the connection with the small group of sisters was invaluable. Women who, each in their own way, were also seeking authentic leadership, personal development and a deeper connection to themselves. The sisterhood I felt gave me recognition and strength. <\/p>\n\n

Today I am at a point I once could only dream of. I feel confidence, peace and inner strength. The investment of time, energy and attention is turning out to be an investment in the rest of my life. For what I have recovered is not only my leadership, but myself. <\/p>\n\n

And that changes everything.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I was working as a manager for almost three years, the organizational structure changed. There were new roles, new opportunities, and I wondered what role I really saw for myself. I applied for a higher management position. Full of ambition, but at the same time I was still full of doubt. During the job […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":16192,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[76],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16194","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-customer-story"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/carlaclarissa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16194","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/carlaclarissa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/carlaclarissa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carlaclarissa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/37"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carlaclarissa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16194"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/carlaclarissa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16194\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carlaclarissa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16192"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/carlaclarissa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16194"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carlaclarissa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16194"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carlaclarissa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16194"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}